Wife: Honey..... What are You Looking for ?
Husband : Nothing.
Wife : Nothing...?? U've been reading our marriage certificate 4 an hour ??
Husband : I was just looking 4 the expiry date.
**********
Q - What is the Difference Between Mother & Wife ?
A - One Woman Brings U into this world crying... & the other ensures U
Continue to do so.
**********
Wife : Do you want dinner?
Husband : Sure, what are my choices?
Wife : Yes and no.
**********
Wife: You always carry my photo in your handbag to the office. Why?
Husband: When there is a problem, no matter how impossible, I look at your
picture and the problem disappears.
Wife: You see, how miraculous and powerful I am for you?
Husband: Yes, I see your picture and say to myself, "What other problem can
there be greater than this one?"
**********
Girl: When we get married, I want to share all your worries, troubles and
lighten your burden.
Boy: It's very kind of you, darling, But I don't have any worries or troubles.
Girl: Well that's because we aren't married yet.
**********
Son: Mom, when I was on the bus with Dad this morning, he told me to give up my seat to a lady.
Mom: Well, you have done the right thing.
Son: But mum, I was sitting on daddy's lap.
**********
A newly married man asked his wife, "Would you have married me if my father
hadn't left me a fortune?"
"Honey," the woman replied sweetly, "I'd have married you NO MATTER WHO LEFT
YOU A FORTUNE"
**********
Father to son after exam: "let me see your report card."
Son: "My friend just borrowed it. He wants to scare his parents."
**********
Interviewer to Millionaire: To whom do you owe your success as a millionaire?"
Millionaire: "I owe everything to my wife."
Interviewer: "Wow, she must be some woman. What were you before you married her?"
Millionaire: " Billionaire"
**********
Girl to her boyfriend: One kiss and I'll be yours forever.
The guy replies: Thanks for the warning. Hahahahaha
>Latest Jokes
>
> Who's Guilty??
>Wife is dreaming in the middle of the night and suddenly shouts:
>
>"Up!! Quick! My husband is back.
>
>
>Man gets up, jumps out of the window, hurts his butt, and then realizes:
>
>
>"Damn, I'm the husband!"
>
>
>Who is guilty in this situation??
>
>
>--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
>
> Nice Questions with awesum Replies(Funny)
>
>Girlfriend: And are you sure you love me and no one else?
>Boyfriend: Dead Sure! I checked the whole list again yesterday
>
>
>Waiter: Would you like your coffee black?
>Customer: What other colors do you have?
>
>Manager: Sorry, but i can't give u a job. I don't need much help.
>Job Applicant: That's all right. In fact I'm just the right person in this
>case. You
>see, I won't be of much help anyway!!
>
>
>Dad: Son, what do u want for ur birthday?
>Son: Not much dad, Just a radio with a sports car around it.
>
>
>Diner: I can't eat such a rotten chicken. Call the manager!
>Waiter: It's no use. He won't eat it either.
>
>
>Diner: You'll drive me to my grave!
>Waiter: Well, you don't expect to walk there, do you?
>
>
>Husband: U know, wife, our son got his brain from me.
>Wife: I think he did, I've still got mine with me!
>
>
>Man: Officer! There's a bomb in my garden!
>Officer: Don't worry. If no one claims it within three days, you can keep
>it.
>
>
>Father: Your teacher says she finds it impossible to teach you anything!
>Son: That's why I say she's no good!
>
>
>--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
>
> PATEL, PATEL AND ONLY PATEL
>
>One day at a school in Harrow, London, a teacher said to the class of
>5-year-olds, "I'll give £20 to the child who can tell me who was the most
>famous man who ever lived."
>
>An Irish boy put his hand up and said, "It was St Patrick!"
>The teacher said, "Sorry Paddy, that's not correct."
>
>Then a Scottish boy put his hand up and said, "It was St Andrew!"
>
>The teacher replied, "I'm sorry, Hamish, that's not right either."
>
>Finally, a Patel boy raised his hand and said, "It was Jesus Christ!"
>
>The teacher said, "That's absolutely right, Jay! Come up here and I'll
>give
>you the £20."
>
>As the teacher was giving Jay his money, she said, "You know Jay, since
>you're a Patel, that means a Hindu, I was very surprised you said Jesus
>Christ!"
>
>Jay replied, "Yes. In my heart I knew it was Krishna, but business is
>business!"
\thx